Loving on the Shadows

Story By Julia Van Der Sluys

We’ve all done it. Pushing away what we don’t want in the hopes that it will turn into what we do want.

Let me tell you, that my friend does not work!!

We need to embrace every shadow aspect of ourselves and our lives in order to get to the gold nuggets and light that is waiting for us on the other side.

Who here has had a panic attack? Hands in the air, I for one suffered for way too many years than I had to and why??

Because I kept pushing them away because I didn’t want to feel those nasty critters, I wanted to it go poof and magically disappear. I wanted to stomp my feet and ask why was this happening to me rather than stand up and take responsibility.

And while I worked with so many fabulous professionals, sought alternative help left, right and centre. What really worked for me?

Falling in love with it and all the surrounding shadows. Now you are probably screwing your face up and thinking eww no way. But here is the thing. When you repel and push something away, it tries harder and harder for you to hear it, for it to stay. Yet when you say come at me and do your worst, it happens or it just seems to dissipate because there is nothing pushing on it anymore.

I actually started listening to it. I stopped banishing my ego to the boot and let it pull up a pew in the passenger seat and we held hands as we drove off into our life. Our ego isn’t necessarily our whole problem – our problem is we let it take control of the steering wheel rather than just letting it confer in with our decisions, and that my dear is totally on you.

Now at first, it is going to be super tricky, after all, you have let your little friend lead the way for a long time now, so reining it in to just be an advisor instead will take some practice and giving on both ends.

Never tell it to fuck off. I always let it have it’s say into why this is so super scary that we have to have an attack over it. I listen like I would to my niece and really weigh up all it is saying. Then I thank and bless its little heart for being so damn protective of me. I give it a lil hug and then I explain why we are going to do it unless of course it makes a great argument and that crocodile hug may be a little too dangerous.

See all it is doing is trying to keep you safe after something has happened in your life and made it stand to attention and protect you to within an inch of your life. It doesn’t understand the difference between real and perceived threats. All it knows is you are not safe! There is danger! Protect, protect, protect!!

Which is why you need to listen and treat it with courtesy. But still, pull up your big person undies and keep going if it is the right thing to do for you.

You need to treat your ego like you do your inner child, with love and respect, while gently showing them that you are the adult now and can take care of them. That you show an unlimited supply of love and kindness that you may never have gotten before.

I also realised that my panic was manifesting due to all the emotions, feelings and experiences that I just kept shoving down, refusing to look at them for fear of drowning in them. And let’s face it when you are not willing to look at something – you will get a gentle knock, knock, knocks until it turns in Mt Everest because we refused to look at it when it was just a tiny woodpecker knocking on our heads.

So start embracing what you hate, whether it be about yourself, something in your life – whatever. Start listening to the gold it has to say (I promise there will be gold) and start treating it all with the respect it deserves rather than our hate. It may take some time to really get there, hell I am still a work in progress, You will definitely start seeing more light than dark if you willingly embrace it.

The shadows are not there to hurt us, they are here to teach us. They want our love, not our hate and for you to fully embrace every single little part of yourself so that you can be this whole being that shines everywhere you go. We cannot have light without dark. Love without hate. Warmth without the cold.

It is in the embrace where freedom lives.

So go, find your freedom today. Find that spark that is ready to ignite into a bushfire within and set it free today.

Embrace my friends, EMBRACE!!

xo Julia

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