We’ve all been dumped, one-way or another.
Whether you’ve been with him for years, months, weeks, days, it can all hurt the same.
The thing that has been going through my head the last 24 hours is what changed?!
How did we go from dinner dates, hour-long phone calls, pet names, and texting 24/7, to “Think it’s time to call it quits and stay friends?” Believe it or not, I’m the one that said this.
I got tired of the game play, the total mind fuck of where do we stand, feeling like I was losing the plot, and questioning whether he cared about me at all. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t in love with the guy, not even close, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for him.
I’m not in the stage of my life where I want a committed relationship. I don’t have the mental or physical strength, and really can’t be bothered thinking for two, when I can’t even think for one. I don’t understand how men think all women want is a commitment. All I want is respect.
The only thing I ever ask of a man is to just be honest. It doesn’t matter if it’s just casual, but don’t say one thing and mean the other. Signs are always there, and I can now see them looking back, so I’ve developed a list of signs to know when to get the f*** out to save yourself pain.
He doesn’t take you out (of the house or anywhere)
If you are constantly hiding away in his house, not going out or making an effort to do things together other than the nasty, chances are, all he wants from you is for you to drop your dacks.
Texts you last minute to catch up, or late at night
He’s had all day to ask to hang out, but he’s been VERY busy catching up with mates for coffee, going to the movies, and scratching his balls. Wake up; he’s booty calling you.
Disappears for days at a time
You haven’t heard from him in days. He literally disappears. Then all of a sudden you get a half naked Snapchat with the caption “bored” or “lonely” or “horny.” Yep, clearly he respects you.
Stops replying to texts
If all you did was talk all the time then all of a sudden he doesn’t reply for days. Chances are he’s just not that into you anymore. Or he has you right where he wants you and knows he doesn’t need to make the effort anymore. If someone wants to talk to you they will make the time and effort, they will crave you. Even if it’s boring conversation, they won’t care; they’ll just want to know what you’re doing.
Backs off when you ask him what the f*** is going on
A man, who is interested in you, won’t have a problem letting you know. If it is more than just a casual hook up, he will reassure you. If you ask and he avoids answering and takes days to reply, run! He isn’t interested, and never will be. You can’t force feelings.
Gives a cop out excuse when you ask where he’s been
If he hasn’t called, hasn’t contacted you, then all of a sudden wants to see you and you ask where he’s been and he just says he’s been so busy. Cop out. He has probably been off with some other girl, or sorry, hasn’t been horny until now.
The people closest to you are telling you to leave
Lets face it, your mum and close friends don’t particularly care about your sex life. All they care about is that you’re being treated properly. If the most important people in your life are telling you something is wrong, chances are something is definitely wrong. Although it’s hard, listen. They just want what’s best for you.
I’m not saying all men are like this. I’ve had some incredible relationships with amazing men. But there is a particular type of man, and woman, who haven’t quite grown up and realised you can’t play with people’s feelings.
The hardest part of a relationship is knowing when it’s over and time to end it.
Something important to remember is hold your head high. Don’t abuse, yell, or scoop to their level. Chances are they’ll realise their mistake if you actually hold yourself in a mature way and just move the f*** on. And let me tell you, karma is a bitch.
Something my mum always tells me is “knowing your worth.” As I lay here with a bottle of wine, I keep telling myself this. I am worth effort, time, and respect.
Surround yourself with amazing people who literally would take a bullet for you. My best girlfriends are at my side, reminding me of all the amazing things in my life, and how no man is worth my tears.
I also remind myself that I never thought I’d get over my last relationship and I did.
Shit happens for a reason. You learn and grow.
I definitely know the signs now of someone who is “just not that into me.”
Time to control, alt, delete, him out of my life. I’ll thank myself soon.