Babies Having Babies

Okay so, let’s be real here, being 22 and pregnant is NOT that young… well I didn’t think so anyway, others have had some different ideas though.

When we found out we were pregnant back in June 2018 my partner and I were 21 and 22. This pregnancy, unfortunately, ended in a miscarriage. It’s funny because at the time we both avoided talking about the whole thing, we just rolled with the punches and took it all on the chin, but I think it was that miscarriage that changed the way we thought about pregnancy.

As bad as it may sound it was the situation we needed to be put in to open our eyes to what we both wanted. Even though it was only ten months ago our whole perspective on the situation changed, we spoke openly about it and knew this was what we wanted. It’s amazing what life throws at you to prove you are ready for certain things.

My partner and I have been together for six years, newly engaged, building our first home together and loving life. We both knew from the get-go that we didn’t want to wait to have babies, but we both knew we wanted to be sensible about the idea. We are now 24 weeks pregnant with a happy healthy baby boy.

I grew up with pregnancy being kind of a taboo topic, for teenagers anyway. It wasn’t something that was spoken freely about, and you were judged if you did say you wanted kids at a young age. And sadly I had this exact ideology too. I thought that if I got pregnant, that’s it for me, my life would be over, I would be shunned and most importantly never have a career. This is how society makes teenagers feel. It wasn’t until I was pregnant that I realised how HUGE the stigma on young mothers was. I genuinely believed that I couldn’t have a career after a baby and that I needed to do everything before I fell pregnant, but you know what, the universe will support me and guide me and ill succeed because I WANT to.

Although I am not a teenager anymore, I still crapped myself when I needed to tell my family I was pregnant. Looking back now it annoys me how worked up I got over the whole situation. This baby was something we wanted, we tried for, and we planned. Why should I feel nervous or scared about what others think? My family had their reservations but have all been supportive and joined the excitement with us.

If I had a dollar for each comment or snide remark people have made, well let’s just say my baby would be born into a very wealthy family HAHA.

‘But you’re so young.’
‘Are you sure you’re ready?’
‘Babies are hard work, you know?’
‘Were you guys trying?’
‘Omg, what are you going to do?’
‘But you’re not married yet.’
‘Was it planned? I bet it was a complete shock.’

OHHHHH but it’s okay for Kylie Jenner to have a baby at 20? But suddenly I’m the worlds worst human HAHA.

News flash, Raising a child is a challenge, regardless of your age.

Why does it matter what someone else is doing in their life? Why do people feel the need to judge and comment on a situation that does not concern them? The stigma around young mums is, and I think its time we break down the barriers.

I have told people we are I’m pregnant, and they look at me with disgust, then they see my engagement ring, and they simmer down. WHY?
The older generation is the worst, and they are the ones who believe that babies can only be born into a happily married family.

Gone are the days that women follow the strict fairytale rules of finding prince charming, getting married, moving in together and starting a family. Who even made up that ideology anyway? Women want to do it their way. They want to have control and make decisions when they feel right for them and why the heck not? It’s my body and my choice.

I haven’t been on the pill since I was 17 and even that was a controversial topic, people said to me ‘omg your just asking to fall pregnant’ (read my blog post about it all here) But I was doing what was best for my body, I’m now 22 and have only been pregnant twice since not being on the pill.

Pregnancy should be the most exciting time in our lives, and we are thrilled to be able to go through this journey. Whether we’re 22 or 35, we have our priorities straight. We both work and everything we do, we do for our son. Just because I’m a young mum doesn’t make me less of a mother, it doesn’t change the way I will care, love and provide for my son. Let’s support women and their decisions, at the end of the day, and I’m not asking you to raise my child, nor am I asking for handouts. 

Throughout this journey no doubt we will both grow as parents and as people, but I can’t wait to tackle this journey. I have never felt more joy than feeling my baby moving and growing inside me. This little life has changed our lives already and its all for the better.

xo Tayla

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